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  “Is it a letter?” Lizzie stepped closer, setting the tray on a low ledge of timber.

  He placed the hat on his head. “Ja, a letter.”

  Her eyes crinkled with concern. “A letter from whom?”

  “An old friend in Denver,” he said, trying to sound unruffled.

  She tilted her head to one side, her eyes narrowing. “An Englisch friend?”

  He nodded, unwilling to lie. Except for his love for Shannon, it seemed he couldn’t keep any secrets from this woman. When they’d been young, she was the only one who had known of his desire to go to college. She hadn’t told a soul and, because of that, he’d thought she’d understand when he left. That she might even join him. But he had been dead wrong.

  She took a deep breath, then let it go in a slow sigh. “What do they want?”

  The moment she asked the question, she blinked and flushed with embarrassment. She lifted a hand to nervously adjust her white kapp. He almost laughed at the feminine gesture, unable to keep from admiring her graceful fingers, or the way her blue eyes darkened.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that. It’s none of my business. I brought you something to eat.” She turned and gestured to the tray.

  He cleared his throat, feeling like he’d swallowed sandpaper. “Was there...was there something else you wanted?”

  She nodded, meeting his eyes again. “Ja, I was waiting until you finished raking the hay. I know that’s the priority right now. But I was wondering if you might have time to drive the maed and me into town to visit our vadder at the hospital this afternoon.”

  Ah, so she still wasn’t over the shock of the accident and still didn’t feel confident enough to drive herself. He thought about teasing her, but sensed it was difficult for her to confide this weakness to him. Besides, he liked having something normal and mundane to distract him from the conflict waging a war inside his mind.

  “Of course. I’d be happy to drive you and the kinder,” he said.

  “Gut. We’ll be ready to leave as soon as you’ve eaten. I also wanted to stop off at Ruth Lapp’s house. She wasn’t at church because she has bronchitis, so I thought I’d take a meal to her familye. Nothing fancy. Just a casserole and some pumpkin muffins.”

  Yum! Pumpkin muffins. His mouth watered at the thought. He glanced at the plate she’d brought him, noticing she’d included a muffin with thick cream cheese icing for him too. “That’s very kind of you.”

  In fact, her generosity reminded him of why he’d returned. Because he loved this way of life. The way his people looked after one another. Their generosity and devotion to what they believed was right. He realized that even old Marva Geingerich’s biting comments were made out of fear that he might leave again, which would hurt those he left behind. A part of him wanted to stay, just to prove her wrong. To show the Gmay how much he loved it here.

  “But I’ll need to leave early tonight,” he said.

  “Oh?” She cocked an eyebrow.

  “I need to drive to Bishop Yoder’s house. He’s helping me make up for lost time, so I can catch up with the other students planning to be baptized in a few months. I still need to read the articles of the Dordrecht Confession.”

  “Ach, you didn’t read them the last time you took the classes, before you left?”

  “Ne, I’m afraid not.”

  “Then of course you must go. That’s very important. You won’t want to be late. We’ll only be gone long enough to pay a quick visit to Daed and drop off the meal,” she said.

  “Gut.”

  They gazed at each other and the silence lengthened. In the past, they’d never had a lack of things to say to each other. Even silences had been comfortable between them. But not anymore.

  Putting her hands behind her back, Lizzie scuffed the toe of her shoe against the ground. “Ach, I guess I’d better get back to the house and get the kinder ready to leave.”

  “Ja, I’ll bring the buggy out in a few minutes.”

  With one final nod, she whirled around and was gone, leaving him feeling suddenly very empty inside.

  * * *

  As Lizzie hurried to the house, she thought it might have been a mistake to ask Eli to drive her and the girls into town. It seemed silly that she couldn’t drive herself. And yet, she still felt too nervous. But more than that, she hated to admit that Eli’s presence brought her a great deal of comfort. She liked having him here and that was dangerous on so many levels. More than anything, she had to protect her heart. Because she couldn’t stand the pain of loving and losing him again.

  Within ten minutes, she had the kitchen tidied and the children ready to leave. Standing on the front porch with Marty, she held a large basket containing the promised meal for the Lapps inside. She’d also tucked a couple of pumpkin muffins in for her father, although she wasn’t sure if he had any diet restrictions. If so, she’d give them to the nurses.

  The rattle of the buggy brought her head up and she saw Eli driving Ginger toward them from the barn.

  “Komm on, Annie. We’re going to see Daed,” Marty called excitedly.

  Annie came running, a huge smile on her face. In her excitement, she slammed the front door behind her. “Ach, I can’t wait. It’s been forever since we saw Daed.”

  Lizzie smiled at her exuberance and tugged playfully on one of the ribbons to her kapp. “It’s only been a few days, bensel.”

  The child hopped on one foot with excitement. “It feels like forever. I can’t wait for Daed to come home.”

  Neither could Lizzie. For some reason, she felt more vulnerable with him gone. More dependent upon Eli. She’d have to correct that problem soon. She couldn’t rely on Eli forever.

  They settled into the buggy with Eli holding the lead lines in his strong hands. There was something restive in watching him work with the horse. Though he displayed self-confidence, he was quiet and respectful, seeming lost in his own thoughts.

  “When do you think Billie will be ready to drive again?” she asked.

  He stared straight ahead as he responded. “Physically, I think he’s ready now, but I’m not sure how he’ll respond up on the county road. Tomorrow, I’ll take him out alone, to make sure he doesn’t panic when cars and trucks whiz by us.”

  How insightful. It hadn’t occurred to Lizzie that the horse might also be skittish around motorized vehicles now. It figured that Eli was perceptive enough to realize this and considerate enough to drive the horse alone, so no one else would get hurt if the animal bolted.

  “I appreciate that,” she said.

  He shrugged one shoulder. “It’s no problem. I’m happy to help out.”

  Yes, that was just the problem. His kindness and generosity to her familye made it difficult to be angry with him. Yet, she didn’t dare forget.

  Marty scooted forward from the back seat and leaned against Lizzie’s shoulder. “Do you think Daed will be able to come home with us today?”

  “I don’t know, boppli. I doubt it. We’ll have to see what the doctor says.”

  Not to be left out, Annie nudged her way in and leaned against Eli. “How long will Daed have to stay in the hospital? I miss him.”

  Lizzie reached up and squeezed Annie’s hand. “Like I said, we won’t know until we talk to the doctor. I know we all miss Daed, but he’s going to be all right and we’ll see him soon. Now, sit back and give Eli room to drive.”

  Satisfied with this reassurance, the girls smiled and sat back. Eli glanced Lizzie’s way and his soft smile made her heart skip a couple of beats in spite of herself.

  Along their way, they stopped off at the Lapps’ modest farmhouse to deliver the food. As Eli pulled up out front, Lizzie faced him.

  “Since Ruth is so sick, will you keep the kinder out here with you, please? I don’t want them to catch her illness. I’ll only be a minute,” she said.

 
Marty and Annie frowned, but didn’t say anything. No doubt they were hoping to play with Ruth’s children.

  Eli ducked his head in assent. “Of course.”

  Lizzie nodded and hopped out of the buggy. When she reached back, Eli handed her the basket.

  Moments later, Ruth answered the door. She was fully dressed, but her apron was stained and slightly crooked. There were dark circles beneath her eyes, her hair coming loose from her kapp, and her nose was bright red. In one hand, she clutched several tissues. With her other hand, she bounced her toddler on her hip, the little boy holding a full bottle of milk.

  “Lizzie! It’s nice of you to visit.” Ruth covered her mouth as she gave a hacking cough that sounded like it rattled something deep down in her lungs. “I don’t dare let you in. I fear I’d only give you my cold and then you’d pass it on to your entire familye.”

  “You should try a humidifier. That might help you to breathe easier,” Lizzie suggested.

  Trying not to be obvious, she glanced behind Ruth, noting that everything inside the house looked in fairly good order. Two older children sat on the sofa, quietly reading books. The baby seemed well cared for too. Except that she didn’t feel well, Ruth seemed to be coping and seeing to the needs of her familye.

  “Ja, I have one running now,” Ruth said.

  “Gut. I won’t stay, but I wanted to help in some way. At least you won’t have to cook nachtesse tonight.” Lizzie handed over the basket.

  “Ach, that’s so kind of you. You’re a gut friend.” Ruth took the basket with her free hand and smiled as she jutted her chin toward the buggy. “Is that Eli Stoltzfus I see in the buggy?”

  Lizzie nodded, her senses flaring. “Ja, it is.”

  “You’re back together then?”

  Lizzie automatically stiffened. “Ne, he’s just helping out at the farm while my vadder is laid up.”

  “Ja, I heard something about Jeremiah being injured. I’m so glad you and the girls are safe and hope Jeremiah is better soon.” Ruth set the basket on a table before shifting the baby to her other hip. “It’d be so nice if you and Eli got back together, though.”

  Lizzie didn’t know what to say, so she chose to ignore the comment by smiling brilliantly. “If you need anything at all, you just let me know.”

  “I will.” Ruth nodded.

  “I’ll check on you again in a few days,” Lizzie promised, stepping down off the porch.

  “Danke so much.” Ruth waved to the occupants of the buggy before going inside and shutting the door.

  Whew! Thankfully, Ruth didn’t push the issue. Lizzie wasn’t prepared to answer questions about her and Eli. They weren’t getting back together, but it poked at old wounds to go around telling everyone that.

  As she climbed into the buggy, Eli reached out and pulled her up. The grip of his hand around hers felt strong yet gentle. She quickly sat and smoothed her skirts before he clicked his tongue and the horse took off again.

  “What you just did was very gut. You’re a kind example for your schweschdere.” He glanced back at the two little girls.

  “Danke.” Lizzie didn’t know what else to say. She hadn’t sought his approval and yet she couldn’t help feeling suddenly very happy inside. She told herself it was because she’d just done an act of service to someone in need, but she knew it was something more. Something she didn’t understand.

  They didn’t speak for most of the remaining journey into town. Following the traffic light on Main Street, Eli pulled up in front of the hospital and climbed out.

  As he took Lizzie’s arm to help her down, he looked rather stoic. “I’ll let you go inside to visit your vadder while I tie the horse.”

  Hmm. Obviously he wasn’t eager to see Jeremiah. That suited Lizzie just fine.

  “Danke.” She beckoned to her sisters.

  As they hurried up the steps, the automatic double doors whooshed open. Lizzie glanced over her shoulder and saw Eli back inside the buggy and pulling away.

  Inside the small hospital, the air smelled of overdone meatloaf and antiseptic. Several people sat in the reception area, gawking at Lizzie and the girls. No doubt they found their Amish clothing a bit strange. Lizzie was used to such stares and ignored them as she approached the front reception desk.

  “We’re here to visit our father,” she spoke in perfect English.

  A nurse wearing a blue smock and pants smiled pleasantly. “Oh, I’ll guess you’re Jeremiah Beiler’s daughters.”

  “Yes, that’s right,” Lizzie said.

  “The doctor is with him right now. Room eighteen just down the hallway.” The nurse pointed the way.

  Taking Annie’s and Marty’s hands, Lizzie led them down the hall, the click of her shoes echoing behind. A man wearing a white smock stood just inside the room, a stethoscope hanging from his neck.

  “Ach, here are my girls now.”

  Jeremiah lay in a hospital bed covered with a white sheet. His broken leg lay flat on the mattress, but cradled by pillows and a blanket.

  “Daedi!” Both Annie and Marty ran to their father, hugging his neck tight.

  He chuckled and kissed them each on the forehead. “I’m so glad to see you maed. Have you missed me?”

  “Ja, something fierce, Daed,” Marty said.

  “And have you been gut for Lizzie?”

  “Ja, Daed. We’re helping her all we can,” Annie said.

  He laughed again and glanced at the doctor, who grinned at the two little imps. Lizzie smiled and nodded respectfully as her father introduced her to Dr. McGann. She’d heard good things about the man from other members of the Amish community. He wasn’t pushy and seemed genuinely concerned for their welfare. Just the kind of man she wanted to care for her father.

  “When can you come home?” Marty asked, her voice anxious.

  Jeremiah looked at the doctor and lifted one hand. “You see? I told you I have a lot of support at home. Can’t I go there to recuperate?”

  Dr. McGann shook his head. “I’m afraid not yet. The swelling needs to go down before we can cast your leg. The orthopedic surgeon did a fine job in aligning the broken bones, but it was a serious break and you mustn’t put any weight on the leg yet.”

  “How long will he need to stay here, Doctor?” Lizzie asked, wanting to do what was best for her father, but anxious for him to be where she could care for him.

  “We’ll have to see. Let’s give it a few more days and go from there. Otherwise, your father is doing well and I see no reason why we shouldn’t be able to rehabilitate his leg. But he won’t be able to put any weight on the broken bones for at least six more weeks.”

  “Six weeks! So long?” she asked with amazement, thinking of all the chores awaiting them at home and how difficult it would be to keep her father down. Perhaps it was best for him to remain here at the hospital awhile longer.

  Dr. McGann nodded. “I’m afraid so.”

  “Danke.” Lizzie reminded herself that the results of the accident could have been much more serious.

  Dr. McGann smiled at Marty and Annie. “Now, if it’s all right with your sister, how would you two like a nice lollipop? I happen to know that Nurse Carter keeps a jar of them by her desk just for pretty girls like you.”

  The children looked at their elder sister, their eyes round and hopeful. “Can we have one, Lizzie? Please?” Annie said.

  “Ja, I think that would be all right. But be sure to say thank you,” Lizzie said.

  The girls hurried toward the door and Dr. McGann accompanied them out of the room. “I’ll bring them right back,” he called over his shoulder.

  “Thank you.” Lizzie smiled her gratitude, then faced her father, grateful to have a few moments alone with him.

  She moved in close to his bed and took his hand. He squeezed her fingers affectionately.

  “How are you doing
, really?” he asked.

  She released a pensive sigh. “Gut. All is well, vadder. You needn’t worry.”

  She quickly told him that the bishop had asked Eli to work their farm and all that the Stoltzfus familye had done for them.

  “Ja, Bishop Yoder came to see me. He thinks having Eli work at the farm is the best thing for us right now.”

  “Eli and his familye have all been very kind.”

  Jeremiah listened quietly, his brows furrowed in a subtle frown. “I’m grateful to them, but I’m worried too.”

  “About what?”

  He met her gaze, his expression austere. “You. Eli was always much too ambitious and prideful. He wants too much of the world. Don’t forget that he left us once. He could do so again. Be wary of him.”

  Hearing these words, a dark foreboding settled over Lizzie.

  “But he’s returned now. He says he wants to stay this time. He’s even taking the baptism lessons.” She didn’t know why she defended Eli, but it seemed an automatic response.

  “I hope he does stay. But I’ve seen this happen before. Once members of our faith leave the first time, it’s easier to leave a second and third time. Just be careful. I don’t want to lose you or see you get hurt again, Elizabeth.”

  Elizabeth. That alone told her that her father was quite serious. With good reason. Lizzie agreed that her father’s concerns were legitimate, but his words sounded too much like Marva Geingerich’s. Lizzie couldn’t help thinking that everyone deserved a fair, ungrudging second chance. Even Eli. Of course, that didn’t mean she loved him and wanted to marry him now. Both of them had grown far apart over the past four years. But she did hope that he found happiness and peace in service to the Lord.

  “Has Eli raked the hay yet?” Jeremiah asked.

  Lizzie nodded, relieved to change the topic. “He raked it just this morning, before we came into town. Even Deacon Albrecht complimented his work.”