The Forest Ranger's Child Read online

“I’ll make out fine with what’s there, Dad.” Even if she had to wash the clothes on her back every night, she would not ask her father for another single thing other than food. She remembered she had some oversize T-shirts in one of her dresser drawers and would wear them.

  He cleared his throat. “We’ll drive into Reno for some shopping. Maybe on Friday, after you’ve had a couple of days to rest.”

  “I don’t want to put you out.”

  “You’ve got to have clothes.” His stubborn tone sounded final.

  She angled her body to face him and reached out to briefly touch his arm. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I didn’t know where else to go. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently, but I can’t. I can only apologize and move forward. Please believe me when I say I’ve changed.”

  He blinked and licked his lips. “Well, I suppose you showed good judgment in coming home at least. I’m glad I’m good for something.”

  Lily tensed. “Don’t say that, Dad. You’re the best horseman I’ve ever met.”

  He snorted. “Just not much of a father.”

  “That’s not true. You’re my father. And if I wished you away, I’d have to wish myself away because I’m a part of you and Mom. And I won’t do that, no matter how bad things get.”

  “Sometimes we bring hardships on ourselves, girl. It’s no one’s fault but our own.”

  “Dad, I’m not a girl anymore. I’m a woman. And you’re right. I’ve done a lot of things I regret. But now I want to start fresh. All I’m asking is for you to help me do that. I won’t let you down again.”

  He looked startled but didn’t comment. She didn’t want to argue with him, not about this. She knew her father to be a man of his word. And once he told her he’d help her, she knew he meant it. But he obviously didn’t like the circumstances. Neither did she.

  He coughed, a deep hacking sound.

  “Do you have a cold?” she asked.

  “Something like that. It’s getting better now.”

  As they passed through Emerald Valley, Lily tensed, the memory of the flood rushing through her with icy fingers. But Dad didn’t take the normal route. Instead, they passed over the river on a tall Bailey bridge farther downstream.

  “When did they put this up?” she asked.

  “Two weeks ago. With all the flooding we’ve been having, the ranger made some calls. The governor contacted the Army Corps of Engineers, who brought in men to build several bridges like this so we ranchers have a safe way in and out of the valley. Even the school bus takes this route. You just didn’t know about it.”

  “Well, I do now.” And it’d be a long time before she willingly drove through the area where she’d been caught in the flash flood.

  Once they passed the flood zone, she relaxed and took a moment to study Dad more closely. The pasty, leathered skin and deep creases around his eyes. The calloused hands and gray hair. She’d been gone a long time. Too long. When had her father gotten so old?

  “I reckon you’re planning to keep the baby, right?” he asked.

  Hearing her own question voiced out loud made her pause. “I’m thinking of giving her up for adoption once she’s born.”

  “It’s a girl?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, I’m glad you decided not to get rid of her.”

  The thought made Lily stare. She could never do such a thing. She just couldn’t. “Abortion was never an option for me.”

  “Harrumph. At least your mother and I taught you some good things, then.”

  A bristle of resentment shivered up her spine, but she realized what he said was true. She just didn’t want to argue with him anymore. She wanted peace. “Yes, you did, Daddy. But more than that, I couldn’t do such a thing. A couple of years ago, I worked with a woman who was adopted and she loved her parents.”

  His bushy eyebrows lifted. “Why don’t you want to raise the kid yourself?”

  The truck hit a pothole and Lily gripped the arm rest tight. “I don’t have a father for my baby and I think kids deserve two parents, if possible. So I figured adoption was the best choice.”

  “Where is the dad?” Dad’s voice rose slightly, but she could tell he was doing an admirable job of controlling his voracious temper.

  “He…he’s gone. And I wouldn’t go back to him even if he asked me to.”

  “Why not? He was good enough to father your child. Wasn’t he good enough to be a husband?”

  Heat flushed her cheeks. She didn’t want to tell Dad about the abuse she’d suffered at Tommy’s hands, or that he was already married with children. Knowing Dad’s temper, he might hunt down Tommy and try to kill him. “No, Dad, he’s not. I just need a safe place to stay until the baby’s born.”

  “Well, I suppose I can offer you that.”

  Again, a blaze of gratitude speared her heart. In spite of what she’d done, the Lord had brought her safely home. He’d placed good people in her path to help her return. “Thanks, Dad.”

  He cleared his voice but didn’t speak. How she wished he’d say something kind to her. Even that he loved her. When he’d hugged her two days ago in the clinic, it’d been the happiest—and saddest—day of her life.

  “I can’t say I like the idea of giving my own grandbaby away to strangers,” he said.

  “I still have time to think it over. It’s not final.”

  “I don’t know what there is to think over. It doesn’t sit right with me to give away one of our own family members.”

  “I just want to do what’s right for this child. I’m not abandoning her. I’m thinking about her future.”

  “We don’t throw family away.”

  Was that what Lily was doing if she gave her baby up for adoption? Throwing her child away?

  No, Dad didn’t understand. Lily wanted her baby to be happy. It’d be so easy for her to keep the baby, but she wanted to do what the Lord desired. And because Lily had messed up her life so much, she wasn’t sure at all that she was the best mother for her child.

  Taking a deep breath, Lily let it go. Coming home wasn’t going to be easy. She didn’t want to be forced into doing something she didn’t feel was right, yet she didn’t want to argue with Dad, either. Thankfully they didn’t need to deal with the issue today.

  Chapter Four

  As Dad and Lily pulled into the yard at Emerald Ranch, a black-and-white dog trotted from the barn to greet them with several loud barks. Lily looked around with interest. Everything appeared the same, except a long stable had been erected near the corrals. And the place had a slightly disorderly appearance in upkeep. A few rails had fallen off one of the fences and the gate hung on its hinges. The enormous red barn sat off to one side, needing a fresh coat of paint. So did the white house. Never in all her growing-up years had Dad ever let the blue trim reach the point of peeling.

  No vegetable garden had been quartered off at the side of the house and furrowed for planting. It wasn’t too late to get some seeds in the ground and Lily made a mental note to take care of that soon. Her mouth watered at the thought of homegrown tomatoes and yellow crookneck squash. She didn’t say anything, but couldn’t help wondering why Dad had let the place fall into disrepair.

  Corrals surrounded the barn for working horses, all empty except two. A number of pretty mares and younger colts lifted their heads from a trough of hay long enough to blink at them before going back to feeding. Where was all the livestock Dad used to have around the place? The cows, horses, pigs and chickens?

  He parked the truck beside the stable and got out, moving with less agility than she remembered.

  “Hi, there, Beans.” He ruffled the dog’s ears and coughed again.

  His boot heels tapped against the wooden porch. White wicker chairs sat angled to one side with a small table to rest glasses of lemonade in the evening. Lily remembered sitting here almost every day when she’d been young. Now, the chairs needed a fresh coat of paint and new cushions.

  As they walked into the house, Lily was ove
rwhelmed by the scent of pine. Memories flooded her as she gazed around the dingy room. The curtains were drawn closed. Magazines, papers and dirty dishes littered the coffee table. A thick layer of dust coated the end tables and bookshelf. From the looks of the worn carpet, it hadn’t been vacuumed in some time. When had Daddy last cleaned?

  He led her back to her bedroom and she was surprised to find it just as she’d left it, except for a layer of dust. The small window where she’d sat daydreaming…and used to sneak out of the house after a fight with Dad. The stuffed animals and dolls crowding her bed, which no longer held any appeal to her. The purple afghan Mom had made for her sixteenth birthday, just before she died. Lily planned to keep that forever.

  Without thinking, she reached a hand up to touch Mom’s large engagement ring, which she wore on a chain around her neck. Dad had given the ring to Lily the day they’d buried her mother and she’d never taken it off since. She’d thought of pawning the ring for money to take care of herself and the baby but hadn’t been able to do so. The warm weight of the ring beneath her shirt gave her comfort, as though Mom were always with her, watching over her.

  Lily had sure let her mother down this time. And Dad, too. Lily didn’t deserve their affection. And yet she realized they both loved her as unconditionally as she loved her unborn child. She knew now that even Dad with his irascible temper still loved her.

  “Once you get settled, I’d like you to meet someone,” he said.

  She lifted her hands in a careless gesture. “I’m settled now, Dad. I have nothing to put away.”

  “Okay, then. Come on.” He turned and she followed him outside to the stable.

  The dog had been lying on the front porch and hopped up to pad after them, tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth.

  “This is Beans?” Lily asked.

  “Yep. A good cattle dog, but I haven’t had much work for him lately because we no longer have any cows.”

  “Why not?” She walked beside Dad, having no difficulty keeping up with his ponderous stride. She remembered he used to walk so briskly.

  “Um, I’m just too busy with the horses to take care of cows anymore.”

  She didn’t believe that. Dad too busy to herd a few cows? Even if he wasn’t in the market to sell them, he always raised a couple of cows for beef. But she’d been gone for years and no longer knew anything about her father’s life.

  She breathed deep of the fresh air, glad to be out of the stuffy house. This afternoon, she’d start scrubbing the rooms from stem to stern. Right now, she figured Dad had a ranch hand or horse trainer he wanted to introduce her to.

  He slid open the wide double doors of the stable. Drafts of sunlight filtered over bales of hay stacked on one side near a small tractor. As Lily stepped inside, she caught the musty scent of straw and horses. A smell she found familiar and pleasing.

  Dust motes sifted through the air. Several saddles rested on racks along one wall with tack and various tools hung neatly on hooks nearby. Stalls lined the other wall. She gazed at it with curiosity, liking the building immediately. She remembered how she’d spent hours in the barn, brushing horses, bottle feeding baby calves, or hiding up in the loft to avoid Dad’s temper. Strange how much she now wanted to be back here at home.

  Dad gestured toward one of the stalls far away from the mares and Lily heard the low nicker of a horse. A big sorrel stallion stood inside, a white star on his forehead. The quarterhorse lifted his proud head and took a couple of steps forward, his ears perked. Lily admired his conformation, sleek lines and wavy black mane. Dad had taught her to recognize good horseflesh when she saw it and this was a fine specimen. She could understand why Dad kept the stallion isolated from the mares. Just his presence in the stable could keep the girls agitated.

  “He’s beautiful,” she breathed, unable to deny a shiver of delight at seeing such a lovely animal.

  Dad grunted. “His name is Peg.”

  “Peg? That’s an odd name for a stallion.”

  “His name’s Pegasus, but I call him Peg.”

  Lily edged closer, extending her hand slowly, palm up. Many stallions were temperamental and she didn’t want to get bit. “Is he gentle?”

  “Very. A child could halter and tack him up. But he’s fast. You should see him move. A winged Pegasus. Like lightning.” Dad clapped his hands together and the horse jerked his head up at the sharp sound.

  Peg nickered and nudged Lily’s hand. She rubbed the velvety softness of his muzzle, delighted to have a new friend.

  Dad chuckled. “He’s after his treat.”

  “Treat?” Lily ran her hands over Peg’s face and neck. A thrill of excitement tingled through her as she gazed into the animal’s intelligent brown eyes. How she wished she could ride him.

  Dad reached into his pants pocket and withdrew a single peppermint cube. He handed it to Lily. “It’s not good for him, so I only give him one a day. But he loves it.”

  Lily stared at the peppermint resting on her open palm, stunned that Dad would surrender it to her. Peg nudged her shoulder, eager for his treat. Lily laughed and lowered her hand so the horse could nibble the candy. She wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t witnessed it with her own eyes, but after the horse swallowed, he waved his head in pleasure. A low nicker came from his throat and he nudged her arm, as if begging for more.

  “Well, look at that. He’s taken to you already,” Dad said.

  Lily blinked, unable to explain the sudden rush of emotions cascading through her. Funny how much the acceptance of a mere animal meant to her. She’d always been better with animals than with people.

  Together, they patted the stallion. Sharing this special moment with her father did something to Lily. Whenever they’d worked with horses, she’d been at peace with Dad. It was their one common ground. Something they both loved and enjoyed. How she wished they could be friends in other areas of their lives, as well.

  Tears fogged her vision and she turned away so Dad wouldn’t see. She never used to be a crybaby, but that had been before she’d almost ruined her life. Before she’d turned her back on her father and the Lord. It wouldn’t be easy, but she was determined to mend all her broken fences.

  “Wait until you watch him work,” Dad said. “He’s quick and needs very little guidance. I trained him myself. I spent so much time with him that I almost ignored the rest of the ranch.”

  Was that why the place seemed in such disrepair? That didn’t make sense. If Dad was so busy, there ought to be some ranch hands around to do the other chores.

  Dad jutted his chest out in pride. A pleased smile curved his mouth and Lily couldn’t help wishing he’d look like that when he spoke about her. She’d just need to show him that she could be a person he could be proud of.

  “Which event?” she asked.

  “Reining.”

  “Has he won anything yet?”

  Dad chuckled. “Oh, yes. It’s my pleasure to introduce you to the horse that won the Limited Open Reining World Championship and the Intermediate Open Reserve World Championship two years ago.”

  Her mouth dropped open. Dad never kidded about things like this. “So, he’s a world champion? Are you serious, Daddy?”

  He glanced at her, his stern mouth barely twitching with a smile. “I certainly am.”

  Awe seeped through every pore in her body. Her father had a world champion reining horse living in his stable. Amazing!

  “Are you boarding him? Who’s his owner?”

  Dad coughed again, covering his mouth with one hand. “I am, darlin’. He belongs to me.”

  Darlin’. He’d called her that name when she’d been young. During the few times when he’d shown her affection.

  “A horse like this would also make a good cutting horse. He needs cows to chase,” she said.

  “You’re right. Now you’re here, we’ll get some cows as soon as we can.” He took several deep inhales, as if he couldn’t catch his breath.

  “Dad, are you all right?”


  He lifted a hand, brushing her concerns aside. “Of course. I’m fine.”

  She shook her head, trying to make sense of this. “I don’t understand. Where did you get Peg?”

  “I bought him just after you left. His previous owner was lazy and didn’t realize Peg’s potential. I worked with Peg and took him to a lot of competitions. We lived on the road for almost a year, driving from event to event. Peg’s a great traveler. I sold most of my livestock and hired a hand to take care of the ranch while I was gone. Peg won almost every event I entered him in, but the ranch didn’t do quite so well. Remember when you called several years ago, I told you I had a sweet horse I wanted you to meet?”

  No, she didn’t remember, but she’d been selfish and wrapped up in herself back then.

  “Well, here he is. Pegasus. The best horse I’ve ever seen or had the pleasure to own.”

  She whistled low beneath her breath, proud of her father’s accomplishment. And a lot of regret that she hadn’t been here to share it with him. No wonder the ranch looked run-down. Dad had been on the road with his horse. But why hadn’t he fixed the ranch up since he’d returned? “To be the world champion in reining, Peg must be worth a pretty penny.”

  “He is. About two hundred thousand dollars worth. I’ve got a number of colts and fillies sired by him that I’ve been working with and several quality mares expecting his foals in a few months. And he’s yours now.”

  “Mine?” Confusion filled her mind.

  “If you’ve got the gumption to stay this time, I’ll give him to you, Lily. I figure we can turn Peg to stud. Now you’re here, we can build Emerald Ranch up again like it used to be when your mother was alive.”

  She froze, her mind racing. In spite of everything, Dad wanted her to stay. To help run the ranch. And from the looks of things, he needed her help. Badly.

  His request touched her like nothing else could. And yet, she knew it was futile to think of staying. Maybe Dad loved her in his own way but he didn’t like her much. They just didn’t get along. They never had. She couldn’t stand to spend the rest of her life arguing with him. “But you can do that, Dad, can’t you?”