The Forest Ranger's Husband Page 3

  Andie glanced at the front door, noticing it stood ajar so they could hear the children. “Thanks, sis.”

  “You okay?” Sue asked as Andie sat down.

  Andie draped the sweater over herself. Freezing cold in spite of the warm day, she tried to feel something besides deep, abiding hatred. “I’m fine.”

  Sue peered at her. “You don’t look fine.”

  “Well, how do I look?” A gentle breeze pulsed around them, and she brushed the hair back from her face. She felt chilled and irritated and longed to get out of her uniform and into some comfortable sweats.

  “You look pale and distressed.”

  Andie shook her head, filled with disbelief. “Why did he have to come back? Why couldn’t he have stayed away?”

  “I don’t know. The guy is bad news. What does he want?”

  “Right now? To see his son.”

  Sue pressed the fingers of her right hand against her mouth. “Maybe you need to get a restraining order against Matt.”

  Andie blinked, reluctant to let this situation get any uglier than it already was. “No, I can’t do that. Matt has never, ever threatened me. He’s not that kind of man.”

  “Well, there’s no doubt Davie would love to meet his father. Besides Rocketman and baseball, his father is almost all he ever talks about. What about you?”

  “I don’t know. I think I’d rather go on like before, forgetting I ever had a husband. But I have to think about Davie and what’s best for him.”

  “And do you think getting to know his father is best?”

  Andie turned her head, gazing at the drift of melting snow edging the sidewalk. The snow reminded Andie of a long-ago, happier time in her life when Matt had taken her skiing for the first time. “Matt always had his faults. You know he was egotistic and goal-oriented to the point of obsessive, but he was a good man, too. He worked hard, provided well and was always kind and generous to me. I have no reason to believe he’d hurt Davie on purpose.”

  “You think he’s been faithful to you all these years the way you’ve been to him?”

  The thought of Matt being with another woman tore Andie’s heart to shreds. If he’d been unfaithful, that was between him and God. “I have no idea. It’s not my business anymore.”

  “Maybe you should ask him.”

  Andie’s eyes widened, and a feeling of horror overcame her. “I’ll do no such thing.”

  And yet she wanted to know. Had he missed her at all while he’d been gone? Or had he found someone else to share the long, lonely nights with?

  Sue released a deep sigh. “What if he spends time with Davie and then disappears again? That would hurt Davie so much.”

  Tears filled Andie’s eyes. She blinked to hold them back. “Then I’ll be here for my son. I’ll always be here for him, no matter what.”

  “Maybe you need to talk to an attorney. Just to be safe.”

  Andie took a deep breath, letting the fresh air clear her thoughts. “Not yet. Matt hasn’t asked for anything unreasonable, and I don’t want to create a fight over nothing.”

  “You’re surely not going to let him be alone with Davie. What if he tries to kidnap your son?” Incredulity filled Sue’s voice, her face contorted in outrage at the mere possibility.

  “Of course not. I have no intention of letting Matt have un-supervised visits. At least not until I know what he intends. He just barely found out he has a child.”

  Sue’s shoulders stiffened. “I know. I greatly regret barging into your office like that. It kind of let the cat out of the bag a bit abruptly.”

  Andie waved a hand in the air, resigned to the situation. “Don’t worry about it. It was just a matter of time before Matt found out about Davie. Enlo isn’t that big of a town.”

  A regretful huff escaped Sue’s mouth. “I should have claimed Davie was my son.”

  Andie gave a harsh chuckle. “You haven’t been married long enough. Besides, I won’t lie. I have nothing to be ashamed about.”

  “Maybe I could take Davie away for a while. I could take the kids and go visit Brett’s mother in Ohio.” She shuddered, as if the thought repulsed her.

  Andie laughed. “Your offer is very generous. I know how much you adore your mother-in-law. But no. Davie’s still in school. If Matt hadn’t found out on his own, I would have told him myself.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he has a right to know about his son.”

  “Do you think Matt would try to steal Davie?”

  Andie shook her head, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. “Matt has a job in the S.O.’s office. He’s not going to damage his career by kidnapping his own son.”

  “Does he want a divorce?”

  Andie didn’t know the answers to any of these questions, yet they kept rattling around inside her brain.

  “I don’t think so. He apologized for leaving me. He said he wished he’d stayed.”

  Sue snorted. “Can you believe that guy? What a loser. He always did have a lot of nerve.”

  Which was one reason Andie fell in love with him. Matt had been so much fun, and intelligent, too. A true athlete, full of life and hopes and plans. And he worked hard to meet his goals. Definitely not a loser. He’d encouraged Andie to meet her goals, too. He’d taken on additional work assignments to earn her tuition, prepared dinner and helped with the laundry. Andie had adored him at first sight. They’d both enjoyed the outdoors, skiing together, hiking, camping, you name it. She’d never been much of a girlie-girl. She baited her own hooks and cleaned the fish she caught. But with Matt’s overt masculinity, she’d always felt feminine and protected by him. Loved. Until he betrayed her by leaving. Seeing him now limping around with a cane confused her, and she wondered again if his injury was permanent.

  “No, Matt’s no loser,” she said. “He was always hardworking, in school and in his career. He’s a high achiever who just got his priorities messed up. But he has some very good qualities, too.”

  Sue leaned forward, her eyes creased with concern. “Do you think he’ll take you to court, to try and take Davie from you?”

  “No. I’m not sure what he wants, but I don’t think he would hurt Davie like that. And if he tried, I’d fight him tooth and nail. No one’s ever taking Davie from me. Of course, Matt’s probably still in shock, finding out he has a son.”

  “Good. When I think about how badly he hurt you, I figure he deserves a nice shock.” A vindictive smile curved Sue’s lips.

  Andie appreciated her sister’s loyalty, but in all fairness to Matt, he’d been a good, diligent husband when they’d been together. She couldn’t fault him there. He’d just forgotten what was really important. When she thought of the angst she’d seen in his eyes when he found out about Davie, she couldn’t help feeling sorry for him under the circumstances. He’d missed almost six years of his son’s life, after all. But Matt had made a conscious decision to remove himself from her life…and any children she might have.

  “What are you gonna do?” Sue asked.

  “Wait and see.”

  “Wait and see what?”

  “What Matt does.”

  Sue dangled one stockinged foot over the whicker foot-rest. “I don’t understand. You cried buckets of tears after he left, Andie. I won’t stand by and let him hurt you again.”

  Andie waved Matt’s business card with his phone numbers in the air. She’d scooped it up the moment he’d left her office. She didn’t smile as she spoke. “Don’t worry, I’m over him. Matt didn’t contact me for over five years. He said he’d be in touch. Let’s wait and see how badly he wants to see his son.”

  “I take it you’re not planning to call him.”

  “Absolutely not. If he wants to see Davie, he’ll have to call me. I’m not going to pursue it.”

  If Matt wasn’t serious about getting to know his son, Andie didn’t want Davie to get hurt. Above all else, she would protect her child. Even if it meant he never saw Matt again.

  A satisfied smile cur
ved Sue’s lips. “Good girl.”

  Chapter Three

  “How’s the leg?” Cal Hinkle smiled at Matt as he limped down the hall leading to the reception area of the Forest Supervisor’s office.

  Normally Matt worked late, preparing for the summer fire season. He paused as the receptionist locked the front door, the clock on the wall reading 5:17. Matt couldn’t wait to get home and put an ice pack on his thigh.

  “Great,” Matt said. He leaned his shoulder against the wall, trying not to grit his teeth. Using the cane for balance, he refused to give in to the pain. He didn’t want his boss to know how bad his leg hurt.

  Cal showed a concerned smile, talking low. “And you’re keeping up with your physical therapy?”

  “Yeah, my new physical therapist is great. I’ve started walking on a treadmill and doing my exercises regularly.”

  “And what about the post-traumatic stress?”

  “I’m dealing with that, too.” In his own way. It didn’t sit well with Matt to meet with shrinks to discuss his survivor’s guilt. So far, he hadn’t told a single soul what happened the day he’d lost one of his crewmen and almost died himself. The horror of the wildfire plagued him, and he couldn’t put his thoughts into words. He couldn’t relive it a second time.

  “Good. If you need to talk, my door is always open, Matt. It’ll take time, but I know you can heal both physically and mentally.”

  “I appreciate that.” In the daytime, Matt had no problem coping. At night, his dreams haunted him. Jim should still be here, not him. Sometimes Matt woke up screaming, his body covered in sweat. He wondered if he’d ever feel normal again.

  Cal paused before returning to his office. “Fire season will start early this year. I’ve scheduled a meeting in two weeks with all the rangers on our forest. Will that give you enough time to present your fire plan to them?”

  Matt nodded, knowing Andie would be there. “I’ve already been working on one I think you’ll like. It should streamline communication between all of us, the BLM and local fire authorities, and offer better use of our resources. I’ve also been looking at the contracts each ranger will need in place for equipment and heavy machinery for the fire crews. Next week I’ll start visiting each ranger to solidify the contracts and find out if they have any special needs.”

  “Good. I knew you were the right man for this job. Have a nice evening.” Cal clapped his hand on Matt’s shoulder.

  Matt smiled, pleased to be doing something right. Funny how he always seemed to excel in his job performance, while his family relationships were a different matter.

  Placing the cane in front of him, Matt headed outside to his truck. Clouds the color of gray slate filled the sky, and it had been raining. The drive home took less than ten minutes. You couldn’t get this kind of commute living in a big city.

  Inside his dingy studio apartment, he opened the freezer and took out an ice pack. The dismal surroundings needed lamps and pictures on the walls, but Matt didn’t care. He only used his apartment to shower, sleep and perform his leg exercises. He slouched on the Hide-A-Bed sofa and laid the cool pack on his leg. He’d never get used to the chronic pain, although he could endure it. The emptiness in his heart was another issue.

  Five days and still no word from Andie. He’d tried to give her some space. To give her time to talk to Davie and make visitation arrangements. Now Matt felt like a caged tiger, eager to see her and Davie again. Filled with fears and doubts. He wanted to take things slow, to give Andie time to adjust to him being back in her life, but he couldn’t help wondering if this was how she’d felt after he’d left and never called her. Now he wondered how he’d lived all that time without hearing her voice every day. He’d put her through so much. How could he have been so unfeeling to her needs? He hadn’t deserved her. But he’d changed so much since then. If only he could show her that he was a better man now. A man who loved her more than he loved life.

  He picked up the remote and flipped on the TV, listening absentmindedly to the news. So far they’d had an extra-dry winter with a weak snowpack in the mountains. In the summer, they’d have a heavy fire season as a result. Already he’d started planning the fire school they were scheduled to host in early May to train summer wildfire fighters. He had no doubt they’d need many before summer ended.

  After thirty minutes, Matt tossed the ice pack aside. He changed out of his forest service uniform into some sweats and climbed on the treadmill, hoping the exercise might ease the pain in his leg. It didn’t. Even with the special ointment the doctor had given him, the tight skin grafts on his left thigh throbbed unbearably.

  “Come on, Cutter,” he spoke aloud to himself. “Just one more mile. You can do this. You don’t need to stop.”

  As he forced himself to walk, he gripped the handrails. He briefly considered taking a pain pill, but tossed that idea aside. He didn’t need an addiction to deal with right now on top of everything else.

  When he finished walking, Matt guzzled a glass of water. His body shook and he lay down on an exercise mat, going through the stretching exercises his physical therapist had taught him.

  “One, two, three…” He counted off the repetitions, pushing himself to do an extra set of each exercise. The pain eased, but persisted. The hope of walking without a cane kept him from giving in.

  When he finished, he sat on the couch and gave a mental shout of victory. It’d been agony, but he’d pushed himself through the pain. He was not going to be a cripple the rest of his life.

  Before he could stop himself, he reached for the phone and dialed Andie’s number. He’d memorized it, even though he’d never called her yet. It was time they talked.

  “Hello,” a man’s voice answered.

  Matt tensed, his mind running rampant with confusion. It never occurred to him that Andie might have someone else in her life. Just because they were still married didn’t mean she couldn’t have met and fallen in love with someone else. The thought made him feel strangely territorial. Though he had no right, he didn’t like the idea of another man usurping his place with his wife and son.

  “Is Andie there?” He didn’t know who this man was, but he was prepared to fight for his wife.

  Oh, please. Please don’t let her have someone else in her life. Not now.

  “Sorry, but she’s in the shower.”

  Cold dread gripped Matt’s heart. Maybe he’d lost her for good. She deserved to be happy. No matter what, Matt intended to be there for her and Davie, in any way they needed him. But what if Andie wouldn’t forgive him? What if he could never make up for what he’d done?

  “Is Davie there?”

  A pause. “Yeah, one moment.”

  Matt didn’t expect to speak to the boy. He just wanted to know if his son was there, in the same room with another man trying to take his place.

  But he didn’t really have a place in Andie’s life anymore. He didn’t have a right to resent another man for loving her the way she deserved to be loved.

  The stranger didn’t give Matt a chance to say anything else. An awkward moment ensued while the man called for Davie. Butterflies swarmed in Matt’s stomach as he waited for the sound of his son’s voice.

  “Hello.”

  Such a grown-up voice. Matt loved this boy already.

  “Hi, Davie.”

  “Who’s this?”

  Matt didn’t expect the heavy breathing from the boy. He’d never been around kids much and wasn’t used to their ways.

  “My name’s Matt. You and I met in your mom’s office about a week ago.”

  “Yeah, you liked my new Rocketman.”

  Matt felt the urge to laugh, the first time in months. “Yes I did. I was calling your mom to find out when I might come over and visit you.”

  “You can come over now.”

  “I can?”

  “Sure. We’re not doing nothing special. Mom’s got lasagna in the oven.”

  Homemade lasagna. Andie’s specialty. Nothing better in the world. M
att’s mouth watered at the thought of sitting down to eat dinner with his wife and son. But he wasn’t foolish enough to invite himself without Andie’s say-so.

  “It sounds like you’ve already got company,” Matt said.

  “Nah, Aunt Sue and Uncle Brett are leaving now. You can come over.”

  Uncle Brett. Susan’s husband.

  Matt’s skin prickled with relief. For a moment there, he’d been shaking with fear.

  “You better check with your mom first.” Matt knew better than to get permission from a five-year-old.

  “Okay.” The phone rattled as Davie set the receiver down.

  Matt waited several tense moments, listening to the background noise of the TV set. The evening news, if he heard right. Finally Davie returned.

  “Mom doesn’t mind.”

  “Really? You’re sure she said it’s okay?” Matt couldn’t contain his surprise.

  “Yeah, I asked her. Do you know where I live?”

  “I do.” Matt had found that out even before he’d secured his own apartment. He’d driven down Andie’s street a couple of times, usually in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep. He longed to confide in her about the fire. To get the guilt off his chest. But he figured she’d just laugh at him. After the way he’d hurt her, she couldn’t possibly care about the demons haunting him.

  Most nights, he noticed a light on in the front bedroom of her house. Matt wasn’t sure whose room it was. When they’d first married, Andie had suffered from insomnia and usually sat up reading when she couldn’t sleep. But Davie was a wild card. Maybe the boy was scared of the dark and needed a light on while he slept. Matt longed to get to know his little son. Was the boy shy or brave? Was he athletic or a bookworm? It didn’t matter one way or the other. Davie was his, and Matt loved the child unconditionally for no other reason.

  “See ya.”

  The boy hung up before Matt could say goodbye. He felt a buzz of excitement. He’d been invited to dinner at Andie’s house. Thank goodness she wasn’t going to fight his visitations of Davie. He’d take it slow and easy, trying to soften Andie’s heart. The last thing he wanted was to upset his wife and cause a scene in front of their son.