Runaway Amish Bride Read online

Abby stared in shock. Growing up, she’d never seen this kind of affection nor gratitude shown in her home. Was this normal in most Amish households, or just this one? It seemed so alien to Abby, and yet she wished she had been raised this way.

  “I’ll gather the eggs.” Reuben stuffed half a biscuit into his mouth before pushing away from the table.

  “I want to help, too.” Ruby hopped out of her chair, and both children quickly carried their dishes to the sink before kissing their grandmother. Then they raced outside with the men.

  Naomi released a huge sigh and finally sat at the table. She cupped her face with her hands, breathing hard.

  “Are you all right?” Abby asked.

  The woman nodded and sat back, seeming to relax now that her familye had been cared for. “I’m fine. There’s just a lot to do.”

  She reached for a bowl and filled it with soup for herself. She began eating, and Abby thought she was overdoing.

  “Now that I’m here, I can help take some of the load off you,” Abby said.

  Naomi smiled. “Ja, I’m so glad to have you here, my dear.”

  Again, the woman’s words warmed Abby’s heart. “The kinder are so eager to assist with the work.”

  She was thinking of home again. She’d never been opposed to hard work, but she hated being anywhere near her father or brother. Surely Reuben wouldn’t be eager to help in the barn if his dad was inclined to beating him and Ruby.

  Naomi nodded. “They are good children. I hope you know Reuben didn’t mean any harm by what he said earlier.”

  “Ja, I understand that he has suffered a great loss. You all have.”

  Naomi showed a sad smile. “I am sorry for how this has turned out with Jakob. You must be very disappointed not to be marrying him.”

  Abby shrugged. “Not really. I am content not to be married. And I’m so grateful to be able to stay here with you. I promise not to be a burden. I’ll earn my keep.”

  “Don’t worry about that. I like having a house full of familye. But you should marry one day. It’s a lot of work but also brings boundless joy. Losing my husband has been difficult, but we had many wonderful years together and I have my grandchildren to enjoy now. But I am very worried about Reuben and Jakob.”

  “How many children do you have?” Abby asked, standing so she could clear the table.

  “Five, including Jakob, who is the eldest. They are all grown and married now. Three of them live in the Westcliffe area and come to visit us now and then. Colorado isn’t like Ohio, where all of our familye lives close by. Here, we are spread far apart, but we are glad to have affordable land. There is plenty of room to grow. We can have a better future here. My daughter Ruth and her husband live here in Riverton. You’ll meet them at church on Sunday. She is expecting her first child in August. Then I will have eight grandchildren to love. I hope to have many more.”

  Abby smiled at the thought, wishing she could have children someday. A husband and a large familye that loved each other had always been her dream. But children of her own would require marriage, which didn’t appear to be in her future. Although it wasn’t quite the same, she would just have to care for other people’s children. Starting with Reuben and Ruby.

  “How nice that your familye is growing so much. You must be very pleased,” she said.

  Naomi set her spoon in her empty bowl and pushed back from the table with a sigh. “I am. It is good to have a large familye in my old age, but I would feel better to see mein sohn happily married again. I can understand why my husband wrote to tell you that Jakob would marry you. The Amish settlements in Colorado are just beginning to grow. Bishop Yoder fears without enough women, our young men might start marrying outside our faith. I’m sure that is one reason he was eager for you to remain here with us.”

  Abby didn’t respond to that. She thought it was better to let the topic die. And yet, she’d had such great expectations. Now, she wasn’t so sure.

  “Is Dawdi Zeke your father?” she asked.

  Naomi nodded. “He is kind, yet firm in his convictions. He’s lived a long, happy life. Jakob is just like him, although you wouldn’t know it lately. He’s still hurting over losing his wife. But one day, he will realize that Gott wants him to keep going and to be happy. That he cannot live in the past.”

  Abby agreed, yet she realized how difficult it must be for Jakob. He’d lost two vital people he loved very much, and she envied that love. How she wished someone in the world loved her the way Jakob loved Susan. Abby was so traumatized by her life in Ohio that she was desperate to leave it behind, yet Jakob wanted to cling to the past. She realized neither mind-set was healthy, but she had no idea how to overcome the problem.

  “Now, tell me about Ohio and our old home. Who has married recently and who has had new babies? Tell me all the news.” Naomi stood and walked to the kitchen sink.

  Abby willingly complied, drying the dishes while Naomi washed. They laughed and chatted as they worked, soon having the room cleaned up and plans made for tomorrow’s meals. That didn’t diminish the worries in Abby’s mind. She was a stranger in a new home. She’d come here to get married, but surely things had worked out for the best. The Lord knew of her needs and would care for her. She must have faith. Jakob had let her stay, and she didn’t dare ask for more. So why did she feel an unexplainable sense of disappointment deep inside her heart?

  * * *

  The air smelled of a combination of cattle and clean straw. The horses were inside their stalls, blissfully munching on hay. The sun had all but faded in the western sky, highlighting the fields with shadows of dark purple and gray. Jakob lit a kerosene lamp and set it on the railing. He loved this late time of day, when he’d almost finished his work and could go inside and read or talk with his familye before the fireplace. But lately, he found no peace of mind.

  Sitting on a three-legged stool, he set a clean bucket beneath one of their three cows.

  “Abby is a sweet young woman, don’t you agree?” Dawdi Zeke asked.

  Jakob paused in his milking and glanced over at his grandfather. It was a good thing that Reuben and Ruby were outside feeding the pigs. It might have been a mistake, but he’d told Dawdi about his father’s letters to Abby and that he had refused to marry her.

  “She is a nice enough person I suppose,” he said.

  Dawdi leaned against the side of the cow he was milking. He sat at a hunched angle, indicating his arthritis was bothering him again. His bucket was almost filled with frothy white milk or Jakob might have tried to get him to go inside. He gave his fragile grandfather as few chores to do as possible. The familye couldn’t stand to lose anyone else right now.

  “Susan was a sweet woman, too,” Dawdi said. “It was a shame to lose her. But it’s been over a year and it’s time for you to live again. If you open your heart to love, you will find more joy than you ever thought possible.”

  Open his heart to love? Jakob didn’t know how anymore. Even if he could do it, he didn’t want to try. When he’d married Susan, he’d locked his heart to all others. What if he loved another woman and lost her, too? He couldn’t stand to go through that pain a second time, nor did he want to put his children through it again.

  “I’ll never love anyone the way I loved Susan,” he said.

  “True. Susan was unique and you loved her for who she was. But Abby is unique, too. She’ll bring some man a lot of happiness. If you decide not to love again, then that’s the way it’ll be. But it doesn’t have to be like that. It’s your choice.”

  “It wasn’t my choice when Susan died. I can’t tell my heart what to feel or who to love,” Jakob said.

  How could he tell his heart to stop loving Susan and start loving another woman? He couldn’t shut it off and on. It wasn’t possible.

  “Ja, you can. All you have to do is stop being angry at Gott and start living in the present instead of the pa
st. Look for ways to feel joy and you’ll find it.” With a final nod, Dawdi stood slowly and carried his bucket out of the milking room. He set the container on top of the rough-hewn counter. When he turned, he staggered but caught himself against a beam of timber.

  “Dawdi! Are you all right?” Jakob stood so fast that he almost kicked his bucket over. A dollop of frothy white milk sloshed over the pail.

  “I’m all right.” Dawdi Zeke held up a hand to reassure him.

  Jakob was still worried. With his father passing away so recently, they were shorthanded. To take up the slack, Dawdi Zeke had been overdoing, but he would never complain. Jakob would make a point of doing the milking earlier for a few days, to give his grandfather a rest.

  He glanced at the buckets, mentally calculating how many gallons of milk they would have tonight. He knew Mamm would separate the cream later, to make butter and other tasty fillings for the pastries she sold at the bakery in town. During the past few years of drought, the extra income she brought in had been a blessing. With Abby’s help, they should be able to increase their production.

  Jakob lowered his head and continued with his task. Yes, Abby was a sweet person from what he could tell, but that didn’t mean he wanted to marry and spend the rest of his life with her.

  It would do no good to tell Dawdi that he wasn’t angry with Gott, because he was. Very angry. Yes, he loved the Lord with all his heart, but why had He taken Susan and Daed away when the familye still needed them so badly?

  Dawdi leaned against the doorway. “Your vadder was wrong to bring Abby here without your approval, but I believe he had your best interests in mind. No doubt he intended to speak with you about it, but he never got the chance. I hope you won’t feel too harshly toward him.”

  Jakob didn’t respond, wishing they could talk about something else. He had loved and respected his father, but he had no idea what the man’s intentions had been. Jakob was no longer a young lad. He was a grown man with kinder of his own, and he had earned the right to choose whom he did and did not marry. His father had been out of line to make promises of marriage to Abby without asking him about it first.

  “What are you going to do about Abby?” Dawdi pressed.

  Jakob resisted the urge to look up from his milking. “Nothing. We will let her work and live here as long as she wants. I’m not inclined to send her back to her familye if she doesn’t want to go.”

  He told his grandfather about his altercation with Simon all those years ago when they had been teenage boys. He didn’t want to send her back to a life of abuse.

  Dawdi grunted. “Her daed was no better. I knew him well when we still lived in Ohio. A cruel man, for sure. Everyone in the district knew he beat his horses, wife and kids. Some even believe he was responsible for his wife’s death. His abuse was a constant point of contention in his home. The bishop and deacon spoke to him about it many times, but he never changed. The Lord taught us that loving persuasion is the way for us to lead our households. Otherwise, your familye learns to hate and fear you. And that’s not the way for any man to be.”

  “I agree with you,” Jakob said.

  Many Amish spanked their kinder, but not Jakob. No matter how disobedient, he could never bring himself to beat his wife or children if they chose not to do as he asked. They were too precious to him, and he didn’t want to become their enemy. But Reuben was getting out of control. Maybe a spanking was what he needed right now.

  Dawdi made a tsking sound. “Ach, it’s just as well that it didn’t work out between you and Abby. But no matter. One of the other young men in our district will surely want to marry her. She’s beautiful, young and filled with faith. I doubt she’ll be living with us for very long.”

  With those words, Dawdi picked up his bucket and carried it outside, leaving Jakob alone with his thoughts. Jakob stared after the man, stunned by what his grandfather had said. The thought of another man paying attention to Abby bothered him for some odd reason. They wouldn’t know about the abuse she’d suffered. Even Jakob sensed that he didn’t know all the facts. She needed a man who was patient, kind and compassionate. Someone who would adore her and never raise a hand to her or their children.

  He tried to tell himself it wasn’t his business. Abby could marry whomever she liked. It wasn’t his place to interfere. And yet, he felt responsible for her now, especially since she had come here with plans to wed him and was now living in his household. And for the first time since she’d arrived, he actually felt bad that he couldn’t give her what she desired.

  * * *

  Abby was just preparing to go upstairs when Jakob brought the children inside for bed. They kissed their grandmother, then trolleyed off to brush their teeth with their father’s supervision. Hiding a yawn, Abby soon followed. Standing on the landing, she peered into the room the children shared. Two twin beds sat apart from each other, budged up against opposite walls. Curious about the kids’ relationship with their father, Abby listened for a moment.

  “Will you read us a story, Daed?” Reuben asked, holding up a children’s book.

  “Of course.” Jakob took the book and sprawled across the boy’s bed, his long legs hanging over the edge.

  He plumped the pillows as Ruby joined them, wearing a simple flannel nightgown. She cuddled against her father and laid her head back. Abby plastered herself against the outside wall so they wouldn’t see her, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave. Not once in her life could she remember her father reading her a bedtime story, and she was captivated by the event.

  Jakob read a tale about an Amish girl named Lily and her adventures around the farm. He brought the story to life, using a different voice for each character. When his tone lowered to a deep bass as he read the grandfather’s lines, Abby had to stifle a laugh. Soon, the story ended and Jakob urged the kids to sleep.

  Abby peeked around the corner. With the children lying in their separate beds, Jakob snuggled the blankets around each of their chins, then kissed them both on the forehead. She had no doubt he loved his children with all his might. In fact, his show of affection told her that he hadn’t spanked Reuben earlier. If he had, the boy would still be angry and pull away. Wouldn’t he?

  “I miss Mammi,” Reuben said.

  “Me, too,” Ruby responded.

  “I know. But she’s with Gott now. She’s also still here with us, in our hearts. She’ll never leave us,” Jakob said.

  “How can she be with Gott and be in our hearts, too?” Ruby asked, her forehead furrowing.

  “Because we remember her. If we think of her often and know what she would want us to say and do, she can be with us always. By that way, she lives in our hearts,” Jakob said.

  “Truly?” Ruby whispered.

  “Truly,” Jakob returned. “But you must be kind to Abby. It’s not her fault that Mamm died. And Abby has her own sadness to deal with, too.”

  “Like what?” Reuben asked in a challenging voice.

  “Both of her parents are gone and she’s all alone in the world. Life has not been easy for her.”

  “Really? She doesn’t even have a familye?” Ruby’s voice sounded so sad.

  “Not anymore,” Jakob said. “Just a bruder who never treated her well. She came here looking for a familye of her own.”

  “Ach, she can’t have mine. She should go back to Ohio.” Reuben’s tone was heavy with resentment.

  “She’s not trying to take any of us away from you, Reuben. She just needs a place to stay. We talked about this, and you will treat Abby with respect. You will treat your schweschder better, too. Understood?”

  Abby was glad that Jakob told the boy to treat his sister well. But the boy made no verbal reply, and Abby wondered if he had nodded or merely refused to comply.

  “Gutte’ nacht,” Jakob said.

  “Ich liebe dich, Daedi,” Ruby called.

  “I love you, too
, boppli,” Jakob said.

  He turned to leave and Abby darted into her room and carefully shut the door. She didn’t want to be caught eavesdropping, and yet she was fascinated by Jakob Fisher and his kinder.

  I love you.

  The simple words of an innocent child to her father. How Abby longed to hear those words directed at her, but she knew now that it would never be. Other than her mother, no one had ever loved her, except Gott. And as long as she had the Lord on her side, she had faith that all would be well for her. She couldn’t blame Reuben for feeling threatened and wanting to protect his mother’s memory. He was just a young child who missed his mom. And once again, she envied Jakob and his loving, wonderful familye.

  Chapter Three

  Starlight gleamed through the windows in the dawdy haus. The cloying scent of the spearmint ointment Dawdi used on his arthritic joints lingered in the air. Jakob blinked his eyes, gritty with fatigue, and wished he could sleep. After a restless night, he’d finally dozed off and then awoken two hours early. He couldn’t stop thinking about his father and how he’d arranged to bring Abby Miller to their farm under false pretenses. Nor could he stop worrying about Reuben, or the farm, or his mother, or a million other concerns. He needed to trust the Lord more, but lately his faith had wavered.

  Staring into the darkness, Jakob lay on the small twin-size bed inside his grandfather’s room. It had been his grandmother’s bed before she’d died five years earlier. He listened to Dawdi’s low, even snores and remembered a time when he’d been content enough to sleep through the night. Now, he was too troubled to rest more than an hour or two. His racing mind wouldn’t settle down. After several years of drought, they had finally enjoyed a wet winter. They’d made it through the lean times, but they were short on funds and he was eager to get the fields planted so they could sell their crops. Once they delivered the hutch he’d recently finished, the payment would also help.

  Sitting up, he tossed the quilt aside and padded across the wood floor in bare feet. In the tiny bathroom, he closed the door before lighting a kerosene lamp. He quickly washed and shaved his upper lip so that no moustache would accompany his tidy beard. Turning the lamp down low, he emerged from the bathroom and dressed in the dark, his grandfather’s snores undisturbed by his movements. Walking outside, he closed the front door quietly behind him and stood on the porch for a moment.