The Forest Ranger's Husband Read online

  Hmm. She sensed something wrong here. Something she didn’t understand. Maybe she should make a call to find out.

  No! She didn’t care. His life was his business now. She wasn’t part of it anymore.

  He leaned forward, his eyes filled with some emotion she didn’t understand. “I was hoping maybe you and I could have dinner tonight. I’d like to talk about our—”

  The door burst open without warning. “Mommy! Look what Auntie Sue got me.”

  Davie ran inside wearing a red cape tied over his winter coat and carrying a Rocketman toy figurine. With the accuracy of a stealth bomber, he headed straight for Andie. His rubber boots tracked muddy water across the floor.

  “Davie! Remember we talked about knocking before you barge through a closed door?” Even Andie’s stern voice didn’t stop the boy. He raced around her desk and flung his arms around her. She couldn’t resist hugging him back.

  Great timing. This situation just kept getting worse. The last person Andie wanted in her office right now was her five-year-old son.

  “Davie, I said wait.” Susan panted as she chased after her nephew, carrying her seven-month-old baby in her arms. She came up short when she saw Matt sitting in the office, and her mouth sagged open in shock.

  “Sorry! I forgot the rule,” Davie said. He held the toy before Andie’s eyes, begging for her attention.

  Under normal circumstances, Andie would have smiled at his endearing face. She glanced at Matt, whose razor-sharp gaze narrowed as he stared at the boy. She could almost see his mental calculations clicking away. Davie had called her mommy. Matt must be wondering what was going on.

  Andie almost groaned. “Susan, you remember Matt.”

  Sue recovered fast and glowered at Matt, shifting the baby on her hip. “I vaguely remember you married a no-good scoundrel by that name. He abandoned you after three years of marriage and we never heard from him again. The resemblance is amazing.”

  Andie scowled at her sister and inclined her head toward Davie. Even if Matt had been gone for years, she didn’t want her son hurt by disparaging remarks.

  A composed smile creased Matt’s cheeks. He looked completely calm and even-tempered. Not at all what Andie expected. “Hello, Sue. I see you’re just as charming as ever.”

  “And you’ve been absent for a very long time. What are you doing here?” Sue peered at him over the baby’s head, her eyes filled with disapproval.

  He nodded at the baby who chewed a chubby fist and gurgled. “You’re married with a baby of your own now?”

  “Yeah, we all kept living after you left, Matt. Life went on without you. Imagine that.” Her hazel eyes flashed with anger.

  “Sue, watch it,” Andie warned with another nod toward Davie.

  “Mommy, look at my toy.” Davie waved the action figure in front of her face, seemingly oblivious to the adult conversation around him.

  Matt’s gaze swung back to Davie, and his eyes narrowed.

  “Wow! That’s great, sweetheart. But I thought you were going to the park after Aunt Sue picked you up from kindergarten.” She emphasized the word park and tossed an irritated scowl at her sister, wishing more than anything that Sue hadn’t brought Davie here.

  Sue tilted her head, her hostile glare chewing Matt to pieces. “That’s what we planned, but Davie insisted I bring him here to show you his new toy first.”

  “Hi! I’m Davie. Look what I got.”

  When had Davie moved over to stand beside Matt? The boy thrust his hand forward, the Rocketman figurine clasped in his small fist. Andie fought the urge to run over, scoop up her son and take him home.

  Fear almost overwhelmed her. Fear that Matt would try to take Davie from her. Or that he’d push the little boy away, just like he’d pushed her away. No way would Andie allow Matt to hurt her son.

  Matt lowered his head, gazing into the boy’s eyes like he was looking at a ten-million-dollar bill. Miraculous.

  “That’s pretty cool.” Matt took the toy into his hand, but his gaze continued to rest on Davie. An undeniable smaller replica of Matt. “I had a GI Joe when I was your age, but I don’t think they make them anymore.”

  Andie bit her bottom lip as Matt reached out and rested his hand on Davie’s shoulder. The boy’s impish nose screwed up with a frown. “What’s a GI Joe?”

  “It used to be the best toy a kid could have. A GI Joe was a soldier and could save everyone. I think your mom still has one.”

  Andie’s mind raced. Boxes of Matt’s stuff stood stacked along one wall of her garage from her recent move. No doubt the toy could be found inside one of them.

  “Mom doesn’t have a GI Joe. I’d know about it if she did.” Davie spoke with confidence, as if he knew everything about his mom and her life. A typical kid who believed life for every one began the day they were born.

  “I gave it to her years ago, before you were born. She may have gotten rid of it.”

  No chance. Against her better judgment, Andie had kept every single thing Matt had left behind when he took off for Oregon. In spite of Sue’s disapproval, she’d lugged his stuff with her when she’d transferred to Enlo eight weeks earlier. She didn’t know why. Maybe it was time to get rid of it, but somehow she felt as if throwing his things out would also throw away the good memories they’d once shared. And her memories were all she had left. That and Davie.

  “Yeah, Mom throws a lot of things out. Aunt Sue calls her the Neat Freak. Can I have my Rocketman back now?” Davie asked.

  “Sure.” Matt handed the toy back before rustling Davie’s dark hair.

  Hair the same color as Matt’s.

  Matt’s gaze sought and locked with Andie’s. She froze, her mind filled with a jumble of words she longed to say, but couldn’t make sense of right now.

  Sue stepped toward Davie. “Um, maybe I’ll take Davie to the park now. I’ll see you at home in a couple of hours.”

  Sue took hold of the boy’s hand and tugged him over to the door.

  “Bye, Mommy. Love you.” The boy puckered his lips and blew Andie a kiss, his small face aglow with a smile. The corners of his eyes crinkled just like Matt’s did when he smiled.

  Andie’s heart melted and she returned the gesture. Even with Matt sitting in her office, she couldn’t refuse her sweet little son.

  Sue tossed one last glare at Matt and made a screwy expression with her eyes before she took the children outside and closed the door. Silence followed, so loud it almost broke Andie’s ear drums.

  “So you’re a mom.” Matt sat there, his hands resting on his thighs, waiting for her reply.

  She lifted her head and met his steady gaze. “Yes I am.”

  Chapter Two

  “How old is Davie?”

  Matt’s question shook Andie to the core. He sat in her office, his gaze burning into hers until she felt as though he could see inside her very soul. As though she’d done something wrong and had to bear the guilt, not the other way around.

  “He’ll turn six in April.” She’d give anything if Davie were just one year younger. But that would mean she’d been unfaithful to her husband during his absence. And she hadn’t. Not once in all these long, lonely years.

  Matt shifted his left leg. “He’s mine, isn’t he?”

  Finally Andie looked away and swallowed. She’d planned to tell Matt about their son eventually. Preferably when Davie graduated from high school and she could be certain Matt wouldn’t try to take him from her. The way she saw it, Matt would either disregard Davie completely, the way he’d ignored her, or he would demand visitation rights. Worst-case scenario, Matt would fight her for custody. Andie didn’t want a battle over their son. Not when Davie could become collateral damage.

  “He has my eyes and my middle name.” Matt’s voice held a sharp edge she couldn’t deny. His eyes looked guarded and hopeful.

  No, surely she imagined that.

  Andie exhaled a sharp breath. “How would you know? You never had the consideration to ask how I was for over fi
ve years.”

  “Is he mine?” His voice raised an octave, betraying his urgency.

  “Yes. Davie is your son.” She bit out the words, unwilling to lie. She hadn’t been as active in her faith as she would have liked, but she knew the Lord wouldn’t approve of lies.

  “Imagine my surprise.” Hurt and anger filled his eyes.

  It served him right.

  “Why didn’t you tell me I have a son? Why didn’t you call?” he asked.

  And that’s when Andie lost it. “The phone lines work both ways, Matt. When did you ever call me? I haven’t heard from you in years. Not once.”

  “I called you twice, Andie. Three weeks after I left. I got your voicemail at home each time. When you didn’t return my calls, I figured you didn’t want to hear from me again.”

  “I never got the messages.” Was he lying? Who did he think he was? He had no right to judge her. Not anymore. He’d lost that right when he’d walked out on her.

  She faced him, her hands clenched as she tried to control her trembly voice. “The day we had our terrible fight, I went to the doctor, then came home expecting to share the joy of my news with my husband. But he was gone. He was too much of a coward to tell me goodbye in person. Instead, he left me a note. A single scrap of paper.”

  The blood drained from his face, and he sat very still for several heartbeats. “You’re right, Andie. I should have called you again. Many times, until I got hold of you.”

  His admission made her angrier. She wanted to hurt him the way he’d hurt her. To let him have it for all the pain and doubt he’d put her through.

  “But didn’t I deserve to know I had a son? Why didn’t you at least tell me about Davie?” he asked again.

  “Because I didn’t want you thinking I was using a baby to get you back.” The truth tasted bitter in her mouth. She remembered the joy of feeling life growing inside her and giving birth to their child. Alone. The last thing she wanted was a husband who stayed with her out of obligation. She wanted a marriage of love or nothing at all.

  “I wish I’d known. I wish I’d been here,” he said.

  Something hardened inside of Andie. Something cold and unforgiving. They couldn’t go back in time. They couldn’t change the past. Even with Davie, she had no intention of letting Matt back into her life. “Well, you weren’t.”

  “So after I left you decided to start going by your maiden name.” Matt’s stomach clenched when he realized he had a child. He felt dazed and sick by the news. And yet strangely elated, too.

  Davie was almost six years old. Matt couldn’t fathom all the years he’d missed with his child. His son. Years when he could have enjoyed being a father and husband. Years of happiness with his family. He’d missed it all because of his foolish pride.

  “With you gone, it made things easier.” Andie didn’t smile, staring at him with disdain and—

  Dread.

  A deep aching loss filled Matt when he thought of all he’d missed. If she’d only told him he had a son, things might have been different. He might have—

  What?

  Would he have quit the job he loved and come running home? He couldn’t blame Andie for being upset. It was his fault. He wished more than anything that she’d told him about their baby, but he’d been the one to leave. He could have called her at work, written a letter or email, or even come home to see her during the holidays. But he hadn’t.

  He held up a hand, hoping to reassure her. Wishing the fear and hatred would leave her eyes. “I won’t try to take him from you, Andie. But I do want to be a part of his life. I’d like to get to know my son.”

  Her spine stiffened. “I…I’m not sure how that will work. I’d need to talk to him first. To tell him you’ve returned.”

  “You mean you didn’t tell him I was dead or something like that?”

  “Of course not. Maybe that would have hurt him less, but it wasn’t the truth. I knew he’d find out eventually that you were alive.”

  So his son believed his father had abandoned him. Filled with shame, Matt licked his dry lips. He could only imagine how Davie felt, missing his father. Wondering why his daddy never came home, read him stories, bought him gifts, played ball with him or tucked him in at night.

  Matt’s respect for Andie grew. She could have taken the easy way out and just told Davie his father was dead. But she hadn’t. And Matt couldn’t help wondering if Davie hated him. Maybe death would have been a better option. Matt should have been the one to die in that last wildfire, not one of his crewmen. At least death was something they all could understand. But not this aching abandonment.

  “Thank you, Andie.”

  “For what?” She bit out the words, her eyes narrowed with anger.

  “For having our child. It couldn’t have been easy, raising him alone. I can see you’ve done a great job with him. He seems like a wonderful kid.”

  “He is. The best.” Tears filled her eyes and she blinked.

  “Is he a healthy child? Is he smart?”

  “He’s perfect. What other kind of child would we make?”

  “With you as his mother, I’m not surprised.” He wasn’t sure if he saw doubt or gratitude in her gaze.

  “Were you ever going to tell me about our son?” He couldn’t help sounding a tad combative. He had to accept responsibility for his part in destroying his family, but he also felt angry that Andie had kept his son from him.

  “I didn’t see a need.”

  Ah, that hurt. But he supposed he deserved it. If he didn’t think she’d tear his head off, he would have stood and taken her into his arms. Now wasn’t the time. After surviving the wildfire, he’d reevaluated his priorities. If anything, Davie gave Matt a stronger reason to live and to rehabilitate his injured leg.

  “When can I spend some time with him?” Matt clamped an iron will on his patience. He wanted to see Davie right now, to study the boy’s facial expressions and learn his mannerisms. Matt felt like he’d just become a father. As though the amazing event had occurred only moments ago.

  For him, it had. He couldn’t believe it. He was a dad!

  “I’ll give you a call.” The angry lines creasing her mouth eased a bit, but the wall of tension remained.

  Instinctively he knew if he pushed too hard, she could make it very difficult for him to ever see Davie. Matt wasn’t stupid. One claim that he’d abandoned Andie over five years earlier and had never seen his own child wouldn’t go over too well with a family-court judge. He didn’t want attorneys and visitation battles. He wanted his family back.

  Matt reached inside his shirt pocket and pulled out one of his new business cards. He handed it to her and she took it reluctantly, letting it dangle from her fingers like a dead mouse.

  “My home and cell numbers are on the back. Call me anytime, night or day. I’ll come running.” He indicated the cane. “Or I should say I’ll come walking as fast as I can.”

  She didn’t smile at his attempted humor.

  Taking up his cane, he stood and took a step, hoping he didn’t fall flat on his face. His left thigh muscle quivered as he put weight on it, but he forced it to endure. He’d returned to work too soon after the fire, but he couldn’t wait to see Andie. He looked at her now, letting his gaze feast upon her pretty face. Her blond hair seemed a bit longer, flipped back in soft waves he longed to touch. She looked down at his business card and her hair swung forward, hiding her profile. He fought the urge to reach out and brush it back. To cup her face with his hands and look into her blue eyes as he kissed her lips.

  Words clogged his throat. So many things he wanted to say. So many apologies. But she wouldn’t believe him. Not yet. There was just one thing he needed to get off his chest right now. One thing he must say to her over and over again.

  “I never should have left you, Andie. I wish I had stayed.”

  She gave a harsh, disbelieving laugh. Her eyes looked so cold. Devoid of the warmth and joy he’d seen there when they’d first married. “I find that
hard to believe.”

  “I mean it.” He met her gaze without flinching, trying to convey the truth of his words with every fiber of his being.

  She dropped his card on top of her desk and stood a bit too abruptly before stepping away from her chair. The anguish on her face reminded him of all the pain he’d caused her. He didn’t want to see her cry right now. Not when she still hated him.

  He opened the door and smiled over his shoulder at her. “You take care of yourself. We’ll be in touch soon.”

  Andie left the office as soon as Matt pulled out of the parking lot. After her encounter with him, she wanted nothing more than to see Davie and hold her son close. To know he was safe at home where he belonged.

  Alone in her car, she refused to cry. She’d shed enough tears over this man. Why had Matt returned? She’d moved on with her life and didn’t want to resurrect the past.

  As she pulled into the driveway of the white forest service house where she lived, she gripped the steering wheel, trying to settle her nerves. She didn’t want Davie to see her upset like this.

  Susan came outside to greet her. When this ranger district had opened up, Andie had jumped at the job. Sue and her husband lived in Enlo, and Andie thought being near family might be good for both her and Davie. She’d been right.

  Andie’s younger sister stood on the front step, resting one hand on the porch railing. The grave expression on Sue’s face told Andie of her concern. And yet, Andie didn’t know what to say. She didn’t understand this situation herself.

  Taking a deep breath, Andie unbuckled her seat belt and stepped out of her car. She dodged the snow shovel lying on the front lawn.

  Bless Sue. She was now a stay-at-home mom and spent her time tending to Rose and Davie and helping Andie get settled here in Enlo. If not for Sue and her husband, Brett, Andie didn’t know how she would have made it through the past years alone.

  As Andie reached the covered porch, Sue stepped forward and handed her a warm sweater. Sue curled into a wicker chair and indicated Andie should join her. “The kids are fine. Let’s talk before I take Rose home.”