Healing Their Amish Hearts Read online

  “My teaching assignment will be finished when school lets out the first of May,” Becca said. “By next fall, Caroline Schwartz will have recovered from her accident and can resume her teaching assignment. I can’t live off my relatives without finding some kind of employment. And Riverton is too small a town to offer many jobs, let alone another teaching position in another Amish school. I’ll have to leave to find work. The logical choice is to go home, so I have a place to live until I can find another position.”

  Hmm. For some odd reason, he didn’t like the thought of her leaving. She’d been so good for Sam. She’d been good for him too.

  “You could find a different teaching assignment here in Colorado,” he suggested.

  She gave a sad little laugh. “I’m afraid there aren’t that many Amish settlements here, let alone vacant teaching positions for their schools. The only reason I got this assignment was because I have familye here and they knew me well enough to give the school board a recommendation for me.”

  “Perhaps you’ll find another position somewhere in Ohio or Pennsylvania. Maybe you won’t have to go home after all,” he said.

  Even as he suggested the idea, he knew it was unlikely. Unless they were in a real bind, the Amish preferred to hire someone they knew and trusted to teach their precious children. Each Gmay had their own Ordnung, the unwritten rules they followed within their unique community. Unless Becca married one of their men and agreed to abide by their Ordnung, she would be an outsider in another Amish community. They would never hire her to teach their kids.

  “Ach, I better get back to work. We’re almost finished painting Sam’s bedroom and the weibsleit need my help.” She stood and walked to the door.

  “Ja, I best get back to work too.”

  He wished he could stay and ask her more questions about her life. He found her quite interesting and he respected her pioneering spirit and desire to have a career rather than marry. It couldn’t have been easy for her to come here to a strange land to live and work. But it wouldn’t be proper for him to keep talking to her right now. She was hurting, just like him. And he didn’t want to remind her of that pain. Besides, the mannsleit were waiting for him to bring them water.

  As he carried the cups and jug outside, he found it hard to believe that Vernon would cast Becca aside for someone else. Becca would make the perfect Amish wife. Besides being capable of cleaning and running a household, she was an excellent cook and was beautiful and knowledgeable. Fascinating to talk to. When he was with her, he could almost forget his broken heart.

  Almost.

  If the situation were different, he might be willing to ask Jakob if he could court her. But Jesse couldn’t forget about Alice. His heart still ached for his sweet wife. In his mind, he was still married to her and he couldn’t let her go.

  He’d heard of some Amish widowers with children marrying a woman for convenience. He thought about approaching Becca and Jakob, to see if they might agree to such an arrangement. After all, he badly needed a wife and Sam needed a mother. Becca needed a permanent place to stay so she wouldn’t have to return to Ohio. But no. A loveless marriage wouldn’t be fair to Becca. Or him, for that matter. Both of them deserved so much more. Besides, she’d just said she wouldn’t marry a man who didn’t love her. And right now, he couldn’t offer her what both of them really wanted and needed most of all. A home where they’d be loved and cherished. A real marriage in deed as well as in name. Even without asking Becca, he knew that neither of them would settle for anything less. Not now. Not ever. It was that simple.

  Chapter Eight

  On Thursday evening, another snowstorm settled across the valley and didn’t move all night long. Becca awoke the following morning to find six inches of the white stuff covering the countryside. She got up early to prepare for her day, wondering if she should cancel school. After all, it would take a lot of effort for parents to drive their horses and buggies through the heavy drifts. Maybe it was best for the kids to stay home. But the bishop had told her they rarely canceled school because they had to meet the state attendance requirements each year. And the plows were good to get out early and clear the county roads.

  “You sure you’ll be all right driving to school alone?” Jakob asked her at the breakfast table.

  She nodded, knowing he would make time to drive her if she felt uncertain about the task. “I’ll be fine.”

  Her cousin smiled with approval. As children, he had teased her for being a tomboy. Athletic and full of life, she was always the girl who could do anything. But since those carefree days, she wasn’t so sure anymore. Vernon’s rejection had hit her confidence rather hard. He’d broken her heart and destroyed her trust in men.

  Bundled up in her scarf, gloves and black traveling bonnet, she left early and drove extra carefully. No doubt she’d have to shovel the sidewalks at the school. She wanted time to build up a fire in the old stove so the schoolhouse was warm and toasty for the scholars when they arrived.

  As she turned off onto the snowy dirt road leading to Bishop Yoder’s hay fields, she saw the school. A thin stream of gray smoke rose from the chimney and she gave a cry of pleasure. Someone was already here. Probably one of the school board members, taking care of the school and seeing that they had their needs met.

  As she pulled into the main yard, she saw a lone man standing beside the front porch, shoveling snow off the walk paths. Even from this distance, she recognized the solid set of his broad shoulders and the tenacious tilt of his black felt hat.

  Jesse King.

  And little Sam was just carrying another armful of kindling into the schoolhouse.

  Tugging on the lead lines, Becca stuck her tongue in her cheek and couldn’t contain a quiet laugh. It was the snowiest day of the year and Jesse had finally gotten Sam to school on time.

  “Hallo!” she called, stepping out of the buggy with a flurry of lavender skirts.

  Jesse paused in his work and leaned an arm against the handle of his snow shovel. He tugged the brim of his hat away from his face in a completely male stance and gazed at her with no emotion on his face whatsoever. But his dark eyes were filled with life. His breath exhaled in small puffs, his cheeks gleaming red above his beard.

  “Guder mariye,” he said in a low voice.

  She made her way through the snow, stamping her feet when she reached the cement walk path he had unburied. “What are you doing here so early?”

  He glanced at the cleared walk paths, which were quickly melting now that he’d removed the snow. “I would think that is obvious. I’m shoveling snow.”

  She laughed. “I know that, silly. But I didn’t expect to see you here so early. Danke for clearing away the snow and starting the fire.”

  Jesse shrugged, a slight frown tugging at his forehead. “It’s the least I can do to repay you for all the meals and tutoring you’ve been giving us. Besides, it’s the duty of the fathers of the scholars to look after the school, unless they make an exception and assign these chores to someone. Bishop Yoder and the other men have more kinder than me, so I thought it’d be easier for me to do the task today.”

  How thoughtful of him. Yes, it was true that the board members were to look after the school’s needs. But Becca knew each father had a farm and familye to care for too. Sometimes, it was easy to neglect the school just a bit. And even though she knew it was expected, she couldn’t help feeling happy that Jesse had come to her aid. He’d saved her from the arduous chore of shoveling snow and fetching wood. Not that she minded the work. It was just nice to have it done already. Jesse’s efforts told her that he wasn’t as callous and harsh as he pretended to be. No, he was a kind and generous man and she appreciated his work on her behalf.

  She scooped up a handful of snow and smashed it into a round ball between her gloved hands. “The snow is heavy. There’s lots of water in it.”

  He grinned at that and she st
ared, simply because it wasn’t often that she saw this man looking happy.

  “Ja, it’ll fill our rivers and streams,” he said.

  Feeling a bit reckless, she tossed the snowball at him, hitting him squarely in the middle of the chest. She laughed, thinking he might throw a snowball back at her but he didn’t. He merely looked down at the splotch of snow marring his heavy black coat and then back at her. Without a word, he brushed the snow away.

  Feeling suddenly awkward, she glanced up at the gray sky and shivered at the cold. “I may let school out early today. Dawdi Zeke thinks another storm is on its way. I need to give the scholars their assignments for the end-of-year program but I don’t want them stranded here all night.”

  She mentally calculated that they had plenty of water to drink and fuel to burn but she had very little food, except for what the scholars brought in their lunch pails. If she had to feed the children before their parents could break through the snow to retrieve them the following morning, they’d be mighty hungry.

  He inclined his head. “That’s wise. I’ll plan to pick up Sam at noon. That should give each familye plenty of time to return home before the next storm hits.”

  “But what about Sam’s tutoring this afternoon?” she asked.

  “Ne, you shouldn’t komm over today. You go home where it’s safe. It won’t hurt him to miss one session.”

  “All right. Let’s hope the next storm bypasses us altogether. I’ve never seen so much snow in all my life. And I’m sorry to say this but I’m rather tired of it now.” She laughed, amazed at the colder weather here in Colorado.

  He chuckled too and she couldn’t help jerking in surprise at the sudden sound. He’d actually laughed! Maybe he hadn’t been as disgusted by her throwing a snowball at him as she first thought.

  “Ja, we definitely have lots of snow here. I had to lock Sam’s dog, Patches, in the barn last night so he wouldn’t wander off and get lost in the storm. Sam wanted to bring the pup inside to sleep with him but I said ne,” he said, a wide smile curving his lips.

  She stared at him in amazement, thinking how handsome he looked in that moment. “Ach, I knew you could do that.”

  He blinked, looking confused. “Do what?”

  “Smile. It looks gut on you. You should do it more often.”

  He looked away, his expression dropping like stone. Oh, dear. Maybe she shouldn’t have teased him. But she was starting to feel comfortable around this man. Maybe too comfortable. She was a grown woman and he was the father of one of her scholars. She shouldn’t be flirting with him like a brainless schoolgirl.

  “Ja, the snow here has been an adjustment. But we’ll be glad to have the moisture this summer when we’re watering our crops,” he said, ignoring her comments altogether.

  He glanced at her, looking suddenly anxious, as if he wanted to get away from her. And that’s when she realized he could decide to be happy or sad. Yes, he’d faced something horrible in his life. But he could choose to be miserable and walk around with a glum face, or he could put it aside and smile. So could she. And it reminded her that, in spite of the hurt she’d suffered at the hands of Vernon, the Lord wanted her to go on and live her life. He wanted her to be happy. She was trying to do that, though it wasn’t always easy. But she had the responsibility of teaching a school full of children. She must set a good example for them.

  Filled with her thoughts, she turned and walked inside. Jesse leaned the shovel against the outer wall and followed her. She noticed he stomped off his boots and removed his hat at the door, then stepped inside. Sam was stacking the wood pan high with plenty of firewood to last throughout the day. The boy tossed a shy smile in her direction, then ducked his head. His father watched with approval as the boy did his work. Then, seeming assured that the school was in good condition for lessons, Jesse waved a hand.

  “I’ll be going now,” he said.

  “Ja, danke again. I really appreciate it,” she called.

  “You’re willkomm,” he said.

  “See you later.”

  She walked with him to the door and peered outside at the chilly day. Gusts of wind were sweeping the snow into drifts along the road. As if on cue, two black buggies and horses appeared at the top of the county road. They turned off, heading toward the school. She’d kept her warm woolen shawl on so she could greet each parent, to let them know school would let out early today.

  As she went out to meet them, she watched Jesse climb into his buggy and slap the leather leads gently against the horse’s back. The animal lurched forward and the man waved a hand to the other families as he passed.

  Thankfully, she wasn’t tutoring Sam this evening. She didn’t mind, not at all. But she was getting to bed rather late each night. She was tired and falling behind on her lesson plans. But Sam was speaking regularly for her now. Just simple words spoken in a mega-soft whisper within the walls of his own home, but he did talk. And she knew deep in her heart that he was making headway.

  If she wasn’t mistaken, so was Jesse. She sensed he wasn’t an overly gregarious man by nature but he was much friendlier now, with her and her familye members, as well as with other people in their Gmay. She’d noticed him at church meetings, talking more openly with the other men, though he rarely laughed and was still shy around the women. The transition was gradual but an amazing sight to behold and she was happy for it. Now, if she could just get Sam to start speaking at school, she would consider this year a great success.

  * * *

  Jesse clicked his tongue, urging his horse up a particularly slippery slope as his buggy reached the county road. He thought about Becca throwing a snowball at him. No one had ever called him silly and it had been a long time since he’d felt like smiling. But lately, the urge to laugh was coming a bit easier to him. When he was with Becca, he could almost forget the sadness in his heart. Almost.

  Shaking his head, he mentally reminded himself that he had to pick up Sam early today. He mustn’t be late or it could put Becca in jeopardy. He knew she couldn’t leave the school until all the children were gone and he didn’t want to make her late getting home that afternoon. Even the slightest delay could force her to be caught in the coming snowstorm.

  Looking down at the front of his coat, he saw beads of water from where her snowball had struck him. He brushed them away, feeling confused by her actions. The last girl who had flirted with him had been his wife. And yet, he didn’t think that was what Becca was doing. She was just having fun. She was so full of life. He’d noticed the bounce in her step and happy lilt in her voice whenever she came over to his house. She’d confided that she’d been engaged to be married and he would have been a fool not to notice the pain in her voice. She’d been deeply hurt. All her hopes and dreams for a familye of her own had been dashed to pieces. It was easy to think that she’d find someone else to marry one day. That she’d go on and be just fine. But once you were really and truly in love with someone, it wasn’t always that easy to move on. He knew that firsthand. Besides, she’d said she had chosen a teaching career instead of a familye.

  When he’d been inside the school, he’d noticed how tidy everything was. Becca had made the same difference in his own home, washing the dishes when she came to tutor Sam. It had spurred him to be a better housekeeper, so he didn’t appear to be taking advantage of her generosity.

  Most days, she brought them something for supper too. She always claimed her aunt Naomi had made the food but he suspected she had helped. And her generosity had touched his heart. He’d heard his son’s whispered words as she worked with the boy in the living room. He’d noticed how Sam’s countenance lit up when he knew Becca was coming over. And honestly, Jesse had to admit he liked her frequent visits. She was working hard and making a real difference in his son’s life.

  As he reached the turnoff to his farm, he glanced over and saw the log house that belonged to Becca’s cousin, Jakob F
isher. So different from the sprawling, white frame houses he had lived in back in Pennsylvania.

  Turning toward home, he thought maybe he should speak to Bishop Yoder about Becca. He should tell him and the other board members what a good job she was doing as their schoolteacher. Then, the board would give her a good reference when it came time for her to leave and find another teaching assignment at the end of the school year. He wanted Becca to find a permanent job that would make her happy. One that would provide her with a firm and stable income all her life.

  As he pulled into his main yard and directed the horse toward the barn, he felt suddenly quite sad. While he knew that Becca had to leave in the spring, he didn’t want her to go. And yet, there was nothing he could do to help her stay. Nothing at all.

  Chapter Nine

  Jesse stepped out of the barn and glanced over at the house. After two weeks of cold, the weather had shifted. The warmth of the sun had finally melted all the snow, though the ground was quite damp. Patches romped around close by his feet, which was odd. The dog usually followed Sam everywhere. Speaking of which, where was Sam? It was Saturday morning and the boy should be outside doing his morning tasks.

  Jesse had just finished his chores and was ready to head out to the fields. When he saw the two buckets of pig slop still sitting where he’d left them on the back porch almost an hour earlier, he shook his head. Why hadn’t Sam fed the pigs yet?

  Heaving a sigh of exasperation, he walked over to the porch and retrieved the buckets before carrying them to the pigpen. The three swine saw him coming and rushed toward him. Patches gave several shrill barks as Jesse dumped the contents of the buckets into the trough. The pigs snorted and grunted, scarfing down the food like they were starving. They were definitely overdue for their breakfast.

  While the pigs were occupied, Jesse stepped inside their pen and checked their water cistern. Patches whined and scratched at the gate, trying to follow him. But no way would Jesse let the little dog in with the ornery pigs.